How to get your relationship working again to last forever
There is always a lot of work involved in maintaining a relationship with someone, but if you always remember how much they mean to you, it will not seem like work. What’s the point of being in a relationship when you’re just going to lie, right? It goes without saying that honesty is the best policy when it comes to making the relationship work. If you want everything to work out between the two of you, then you have to start telling the truth now, if you haven’t been doing this already.
1. Take full responsibility if you’re at fault. If there has been infidelity or trust has been broken, it’s important to take full responsibility for what happened and be understanding of how your behavior hurt your partner. Avoid becoming defensive or sidestepping your mistake, but don’t fall into self-loathing either. Take responsibility, but don’t attempt to justify your actions or blame them on someone or something else.
2. Learn to give and take in your relationship. If you expect to get what you want 100% of the time in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Healthy relationships are built on compromise. However, it takes work on each person’s part to make sure that there is a reasonable exchange.
3. Learn how to respectfully resolve conflict. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but to keep a relationship strong, both people need to feel they’ve been heard. The goal is not to win but to maintain and strengthen the relationship.
4. Don’t take out your problems on your partner. Life stresses can make us short tempered. If you are coping with a lot of stress, it might seem easier to vent with your partner, and even feel safer to snap at them. Fighting like this might initially feel like a release, but it slowly poisons your relationship. Find other healthier ways to manage your stress, anger, and frustration.
5. Extend compassion and care to the person you hurt. If you’ve hurt your partner, it’s easy to fall into a spiral of shame and disappointment in yourself. But that’s not going to help either of you.
Rather than spend all your time beating yourself up over what you did wrong, try shifting that energy toward showing care and compassion to your partner.
6. Give your partner the opportunity to win your trust back. While you have every right to feel hurt and angry, there should be a desire to work on the relationship. Trust can never be restored until the person whose trust was broken allows their partner a chance to earn it back.
7. Everybody makes mistakes. This is a cold hard fact of life. If you truly care about the person you are in a relationship with, you have to learn to forgive them for their mistakes. Holding grudges toward one another is very toxic in a relationship, and is definitely not something you want to do if you want your relationship to last.
8. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind. If you need to talk about something with your partner, don’t hesitate to say what you need to say. If you are one to beat around the bush and hope that they will pick up on what you are trying to say, you can be lost in translation, which will usually end not in your favor.
9. Offer solutions, not criticism. If there is a problem that arises in your relationship with your partner, and they come to you for advice, offer advice that tries to help them actually solve the problem, and that doesn’t criticize them for what they have done, or what the situation is.
10. Don’t keep score. Relationships are not a game, so there is no reason to try to keep score. This means, if you do something nice for your partner, or do something to help out, you don’t have to announce it to them just to get brownie points. The same goes for if they make a mistake, or make you mad, you shouldn’t feel the need to hold it against them just to make yourself look better. This is probably one of the top reasons why relationships don’t last. Nobody likes to feel like a loser in a relationship.
11. Appreciate each other. One of the secrets to having a beautiful and fulfilling relationship is to appreciate each other on a daily basis. Stop playing the blame game always, and instead, try to see the positive qualities of your partner. Appreciating each other can do wonders for your relationship.
12. Respect the boundaries. Boundaries are physical and emotional limits that you put for yourself to protect your peace. One of the ways of how to make a relationship work is to give each other space and respect the boundaries. When boundaries are set, partners are able to understand the differences and support each other emotionally.
13. Place your partner above anyone else. If you want your dynamics to work out, you have to place your partner above everything else. Make him or her feel like the top priority in your life and that you are willing to do the hard work so that everything will be better. Never make your loved one feel left out or uncared for, whether by intention or not, because neglect is one of the easiest ways for a relationship to rot.
14. Let go of the past. As a culprit for many potential arguments and the underlying issue for future ones, what happens in the past doesn’t always stay there. But it’s difficult to move forward in a relationship when you’re still thinking about past fights, problems, or issues that you’ve already resolved. If you find yourself continuing to dwell on the past, it might be a sign to take a step back and consider why. Are you naturally less forgiving or is what happened something you can’t seem to forgive? By focusing on the reason for this recurring feeling, you’ll find more clarity within yourself and about what you want from the relationship with your partner.