1. Actions are always more powerful than words.
To tell you the truth, I’m a writer. Words fascinate me. I’m a writer and a counselor, and I communicate with words on a daily basis. But there is one thing I wish I had realized back then: actions speak louder than words. I’m sure we all agree with that statement, but how many of us apply it to relationships with people of the opposite sex?
Guys who can talk the talk manage to find their way into our lives and hearts before they have earned the right to be there through their actions. One thing I would have done differently is to let the men in my life’s actions speak for themselves rather than making excuses for them. It would have saved me a great deal of time and heartache.
2. Your physical appearance is only a small part of who you are.
I recall days when I was preoccupied with my physical appearance. I recall that my mood could be affected by how I looked on any given day. A good hair day was followed by a good mood. I was bloated, had a PMS day, and was in a depressed mood. When it came to the value I placed on my body, I had it all wrong, and I still do on occasion.
Now that I’m married, I realize that, while it’s important to look after myself, what my husband finds most attractive has little to do with my hair, my outfit, or my weight. My heart, passion, and character have captivated him. He was smitten by my sense of humour, candor, and strength. Those are the things he cares about and the things that bind us. There were a lot of things I focused on outside of myself that didn’t add much to the equation of who I was. If I could go back in time, I would have spent more time developing my character rather than focusing on my cuteness.
3. You will attract the type of man you believe you deserve.
The truth is that we all have a cost attached to us. And the crazy thing is, our price tag isn’t determined by the circumference of our waist or the size of our boobs. It has nothing to do with how many boyfriends we’ve had or how many Facebook friends we have. One person, and one person alone, determines the price tag: you.
We are the price tag that we believe we deserve, and we are then purchased at that price. It’s critical to be honest with ourselves about the value we place on ourselves and to recognize how valuable we are because we were created by a God who said so. A God who saw our worth and paid a high price to demonstrate it. One thing I wish someone had told me is that you must first value yourself if you want to attract someone who values you.
4. You are the most important person you can learn about.
It’s incredible how much time I spent getting to know guys. Countless hours and effort were expended in determining who they were, what they liked, and how to persuade them to like me. However, we can become so preoccupied with finding the right guy that we lose sight of ourselves. What I’ve discovered over the years is that the most important person you should learn about is yourself. You can’t know what you want until you know who you are when it comes to finding the right guy and starting a healthy relationship. It’ll be the best decision you’ll ever make if you take the time to get to know yourself.