1. Quit keeping score.
Okay, so he acted like an insensitive little moron at your friend’s birthday party three years ago, but was it such a life-changing, heartbreaking event that you have to remind him of it every week? Then, perhaps one day, he sees one of your flirtatious text messages, which immediately evokes your right to be angry at him, because he will now bring that up in every silly little fight to manipulate you.
Do you see the issue? When you keep score in a relationship, every argument becomes a battle that you try to win by bringing up past mistakes. If you want to know how to fix a toxic relationship, you should first stop doing this irrational thing.
To avoid toxicity, take a step back.
You could avoid getting into battle every time you fight until you win by doing the following:
When you’re in an argument, take a step back.
Divert your partner’s attention away from you.
Stop bringing up old grievances.
2. stop using emotional blackmail.
In addition to these, what are the other warning indicators of an unhealthy relationship? It’s safe to say that emotional blackmail is among them. And a potentially deadly one at that. Consider what you are doing with your spouse if you tend to see every relationship issue as an opportunity for a commitment crisis and inject unnecessary drama into the equation.
Certainly, you should share your issues and concerns with them, but do not resort to emotional blackmail to deal with every little criticism and complaint. Do not judge or threaten others when expressing your feelings. It’s a human emotion, so there’s no need to add theatrics.
How to Protect Yourself from Emotional Blackmail
It’s unjust to limit your partner’s emotions and freedom by constantly reminding them how upset you are because they’re doing this.
The easiest method to deal with emotional blackmail from a partner is to ignore their manipulative tactics.
In emotional blackmail, there is always a manipulative pattern that you must recognize and respond to.
3. Stop blaming the other person for your emotional state.
So you’ve had a terrible day at work and all you want to do is come home and cuddle with your partner. They have, however, made plans with friends and have gone out. You still haven’t told your partner exactly what you were expecting or feeling.
You, on the other hand, assumed that they would magically read your mood and be overly sympathetic to help you feel better. That’s when the finger-pointing begins. To repair a toxic relationship, you must understand that your partner is not always to blame for how you feel, and vice versa. It’s a classic example of a codependent relationship, and it’s far from healthy.
When it comes to repairing a toxic relationship, own up to your emotions.
Rather than blaming your partner, consider why you’re feeling this way.
Accept that relying on your partner to provide all of your emotional demands is an indication of a poisonous relationship.
Make sure you have your own emotional outlets. Go to the gym, play a sport, and create your own social group.
4. Stop displaying jealousy as a sign of affection.
When you try to justify your jealousy as love, you are unquestionably toxic in a relationship. When you’re in a mature relationship, start acting maturely and you’ll realize that jealousy isn’t all that cute after all.
When your partner talks to, smiles at, lightly touches, or even sneezes at someone of the opposite sex, and you lash out at them to control their behavior, it does not demonstrate the depth of your love. It just makes you a crazy person who lacks trust in the relationship and enjoys inciting unnecessary fights in order to manipulate the other half.
Allowing envy to destroy a relationship is not a good idea.
If you can’t control your own jealousy, you’re likely to control your partner as well.
A jealous partner will only push the other partner away, resulting in a toxic relationship.
Develop trust and security, and seek counseling if necessary to deal with your jealousy.
5. Stop using materialistic happiness to compensate for relationship problems.
If you’re wondering how to repair a toxic relationship, know that retail therapy is not the solution. If you have a habit of making up for a bad fight by going on a shopping spree or taking an expensive trip together, you should stop right now. Real relationship problems cannot be compensated for with surface pleasures in the real world.
Sure, an extravagant gift makes us joyful for a short period of time. A major game of solitaire could take up to an hour. What happens next? The problem won’t go away if you sweep it under the rug and pretend it doesn’t exist. Instead, have a conversation about it. Be honest with yourself and work to repair the connection.