1. He only contacts you when he requires your assistance.
If he only calls you when he needs you and that’s it, that’s the number one sign he’s treating you as an option. He won’t even go out of his way to be physically present for you. He’ll call and text you every now and then for a few days, then abruptly disappear for weeks, only to reappearance later.
And whenever he does contact you, it’s always about something he wants from you. If you see this red flag, run in the opposite direction. A man who cares about you will want to spend time with you and demonstrate his love. This disappearing act is unnecessary in your life.
2. She doesn’t put you first.
Another sign is that she is uninterested in you. Sure, she pays attention to you when she feels like it or is in the mood, but she’s never truly there for you. You’re not asking her to drop everything to answer your every call, but it will be nice to have her around for the important moments now and then.
When you and your partner decide to start a relationship, it’s already a silent agreement that you’ll put each other first. This entails attending birthday parties, going through difficult times together, and enjoying each other’s company during happy times. However, if she is absent from all three events, you may need to reconsider your life choices.
3. He doesn’t seem to care about you.
Aside from the fact that you’re not at the top of his priority list, he also doesn’t seem to care about you. Imagine you’re sitting across from him after a long day at work, telling him about your office problems, and he’s either scrolling on his phone or attempting to change the subject.
He isn’t paying attention to you at all. Why? Because, once again, you’re just another option for him. Who knows, maybe he’s just not in the mood to be with you right now because he’d rather be with Girl Number Two. You, as his girlfriend, deserve nothing less than his undivided attention.
4. She’s having relationships with other people.
Many people believe that they can get away with it by claiming that he or she is just a “friend.” You weren’t born yesterday, so you know she isn’t just hanging out with any old “friend.” Regardless of how much you probe or insist, she’ll most likely never admit it.
If your girlfriend is constantly hanging out with these “friends,” it’s probably best to assume that this isn’t the relationship for you. A relationship is supposed to be exclusive unless you two stated otherwise. There’s no room for seeing other people or considering other options.
5. He cuts you off right away.
It’s annoying when someone does this, and when your boyfriend does it all the time, it just shows that he doesn’t respect you. Why should he care about your thoughts, feelings, or opinions if he doesn’t value them?
People who treat their partners as alternatives don’t have time for them. They won’t take you seriously and will only keep you around for as long as it’s convenient for them. If you notice this other red flag, confront him about it and discuss the state of your relationship.
6. She is a serial liar.
Lying is painful, and we all despise liars. Lying only complicates a peaceful relationship, and a healthy relationship cannot exist if one of the parties is constantly lying. It doesn’t even have to be big things; she can lie about something as innocuous as where she’s been and what she’s doing.
This is a huge red flag in any relationship, and while white lies can be forgiven, blatant and unnecessary deceptions aren’t tolerated in a mature relationship. If she feels the need to deceive you, it’s time to wake up and realize she’s not the one for you.
7. He does not completely let you into his life.
Your partner isn’t comfortable with the idea of letting you into his life completely, aside from the fact that he’s lying to you. Despite the fact that you’ve opened yourself up to him, you still have no idea where he lives or have never met his family.
People do this because you are merely a choice for them. Why would he invest time and effort to get to know you or for you to get to know him if you’re not a permanent fixture in his life? Also, keep an eye out for contradictory information about his personal life, as this is a red flag.
8. She threatens to end the relationship.
Emotional threats are the worst, especially when they are made by someone who claims to love you. Manipulative people understand how to manipulate their victims. She knows you care about her and love her, and if she only sees you as an option, she will use this against you.
If she constantly threatens to break up with you to get what she wants and doesn’t follow through, this is yet another wake-up call for you. She’s only interested in you, and it’s probably best if you break it up with her first before she uses it against you.
9. He makes a monetary request.
Asking for help isn’t always a bad thing, but if he’s asking you for money almost every time he’s in a tight spot, you might want to keep your purse strings tight and think about it. Many people nowadays believe they can treat people like ATM machines and get away with it.
You may be unaware of this because they will make it appear as if you are performing an act of love for them, but this is just another manipulative act to be aware of. He’s definitely treating you as an option if he doesn’t pay attention to you unless he needs money, or if he gets upset when you can’t give him any.