How to forget or let go of someone who doesn’t love you
Loving someone who doesn’t love you is a torment you carry with you the longer you hold onto them.
Letting go of someone who doesn’t love you is an incredibly hard thing to do.
You are holding onto the feelings that you had for each other in the beginning, the feelings of excitement about the future that you shared. You want them to come back and for him to love you and that all will be fine.
But you know, in your gut, that that isn’t going to happen. So TAKE ACTION.
Get determined, identify exactly why you are breaking up, cut off all contact with him, believe that your next love is out there and then get out there and find him
1. Ask yourself how determined you are to do this.
Before you begin any life changing process you must ask yourself how determined you are to actually do it. On a scale of 1-10 how close to a 10 are you? Because without steadfast determination you will not be able to accomplish something as challenging as getting past a lost love.
So are you ready to do this? Is there any part of you that is holding on to the possibility that things could work out? Do you feel like you aren’t strong enough to do this yet?
If the answer to any of these questions is a yes then perhaps you should wait a bit longer before you begin this process. Time is a great healer and with some time you will get stronger and be ready to take on this challenging task.
2. Practice radical acceptance. Acceptance means no shoulds or should’ves. It means acknowledging how you got to this point without judging yourself or playing the “what if” game.
Accepting is part of practicing mindfulness. There’s no room for fixating on the past and what might’ve been (but clearly isn’t going to happen). It means accepting all that you feel with attacking or belittling yourself for it.
3. Don’t play the blame game. Blaming them keeps them on your mind. And you don’t need that. You have a right to feel angry, heartbroken, and disappointed. But it’s possible to feel those things without blaming this person for their failure to love you.
It’s also possible to take responsibility for your role without beating yourself up for it. Be kind to yourself (and others). And be patient.
Blaming keeps you trapped in negative thoughts and drags you down when you need the energy to stand and move forward.
4. There’s nothing more tempting than trying to get back in contact with the person you love – even if they don’t love you. Casual texts to see how they’re doing, or pretending you’ve sent the text to the wrong person. All those things are your mind’s way of trying to implant a sense of false hope. Let go of that. Delete their phone number and stop stalking them on Facebook and Instagram. The more time you have to spend apart, the better you’ll feel. Stop living in the past and look towards the future.
5. Love for an ex or someone who doesn’t return your feelings can limit you. If you stay stuck on someone you can’t have a relationship with, you’ll likely have a hard time finding happiness with anyone else.
Even if you don’t feel ready for anything serious, casual dating can help you realize there are plenty of great people out there.
Once you do want to date more seriously, finding the right partner might still prove challenging. It often takes some time. Dating frustrations can make it especially tempting to dwell on the person you already love.
But commit to looking forward, not back into your past, even if it’s difficult at first
6. Letting go of lost love is a very difficult but important step. When you do this, you need to take a step back from relationships and get to know yourself better. You need to be at peace with yourself and forget the past. You need to take time to grieve for the love you lost. You can try out new things that will help you forget and move on. Start listening to new songs that may help you with the healing process. You can have an adventure by traveling to new places that will make you heal from all the hurt you went through. Start focusing on the future and on yourself. This will help you to re-invent yourself and in the end, you will have peace.
7. You need to realize that when someone falls out of love, there is no way he or she can fall in love with you again. You have to stop hoping that he or she will start loving you again. If you have this mentality, you will not move on. You will still be in love with the person and this will only hurt you in the end. You need to accept that it is over and that there is more to life than having false hope. Having false hope will make you do crazy things like frequently calling or visiting the person. This will make you seem like you are so desperate which is so wrong. The only hope you should be having is that you might find love again with someone who adores you.