How to get over your first love, How to forget your first love.
If you’re struggling to get over your first love, this is perfectly normal. This is something most people struggle with, but there are things you can do to help yourself move on.
Love and breakups are universal. When you get your heart broken, it can feel like this is such a personal thing. Have compassion for yourself for experiencing a hard aspect of being human.
1. When it comes to getting over an ex, don’t try to keep tabs on them. And this goes for letting your friends know that if they hear any information about that person you used to date or if they see them, you don’t want to know about it. I like to pretend my ex doesn’t exist anymore, but that’s just me.
2. Focus on the present. Remind yourself of what you have going for you right now. Think about things like your friends circle, job, interests, and passions. While you may not have the romance you want right now, there’s a lot in the present to focus on.
3. Stop dwelling on the past. Once we break up with someone (or once they break up with us), it’s important not to focus on who we wanted our partner to be but, instead, to remember who they actually were in the relationship. If things were truly perfect, and your relationship was great, then you and your so would still be together. After all, it’s called a breakup because something is broken.
4. Stop telling yourself that things would never be better. Stop telling yourself that no one will ever love you as much as your first love does, stop telling yourself that you will not be able to love anymore. Stop telling yourself that your world is gonna end without your first love.
5. Understand that nothing is special about your first love. You learn a lot about yourself and are able to experience love for the first time. However, people have a tendency to romanticize their first experience with something. There is likely nothing special about your first relationship beyond the fact it was your first. Remember, you are wired to place first experiences on a pedestal. You do not want this mentality to get in the way of embracing the present.
6. Stop stalking him or her on social media. Do whatever you have to do to erase them from your life, and make sure you can’t stalk them when you are feeling bored, sad, or you’re spiraling. You can even go so far as to delete their number from your contacts. If you truly want to move on, then erasing their memory from your life a bit helps.
7. One of the hardest things to do is to go through a breakup and for the people around you to be unaware of it. You fake smile, fake enjoy yourself, when all you want to do is cry.
Use this breakup or letting go of the past as a chance to grow closer and have a more open relationship with your friends or family.
It helps to know that the people you’re with also know what you’re going through. Even if you’re out and about with them and not talking about the the relationship, just knowing that you aren’t hiding something that’s taking up a lot of your energy will give you a sense of ease. It will also allow you to groove into the present moment because it will help you to get out of your head and into what you’re currently doing or experiencing.
8. Forgive and Let go. Forgive this person for now showing up in the way you wanted them to. Forgive them for being young (if they were young).
By forgiving them, you are letting yourself off the hook; you’re allowing yourself to let go.
9. Think about the bad times. While this is not recommended, it’s also very helpful. If you want to move on quickly, then it’s best to think about the bad things he did or the flaws he has instead of focusing on your sweet memories together. This is to help you think that you’re better off without him anyway.
10. One reason you don’t want to forget is that you have developed a feeling of certainty towards your painful memories. You’ve started using them as your shield against the exciting things that are headed your way, all because you think you’ll just end up hurt.
Instead of hiding under a shell, allow yourself to be surprised, scared, and shocked. Take a ride on the rollercoaster and scream to your heart’s delight. Your brain needs this as well, as the feeling of surprise allows it to generate new brain cells and reminds you that what LoveDoctor Joshua Daniels says is true: there is life after love.