How to know who’s right for you in a relationship, fall in love if they have these qualities
If you want to know right for you in a relationship, he or she is someone that’s suitable to you, compatible with you, in agreement with you, yokeable with and is the will of God for you.
Although not all serious relationships are healthy or worth continuing, it’s still important to recognize a serious relationship for what it is in order to understand how it makes you feel to be joined to another person.
It’s a universal desire that everyone wants to marry the right person. Nobody wants to make a mistake when it comes to choosing a life partner. As a matter of fact, many people are afraid of getting married because they don’t want to make a mistake in marriage, they don’t want to marry the wrong person. Their fear is genuine because who you marry impacts every single area of your life either positively or negatively.
If you ask most ladies about the kind of man that they will like to marry, more often than not, you will hear things like, a man that is God fearing, caring etc. If you ask most guys the same question, you are likely to hear a submissive woman.
Whatever may be the answer, one thing is common and that is they want to marry the right person. It’s a desire common to all. Even this man that’s writing also doesn’t want to make a mistake.
The importance of marrying the right person can never be overemphasized because that’s the first step to having a successful marriage. When you marry the right person, your problem in marriage is half-solved. Even when the world best marriage counselor marries the wrong person, that marriage cannot survive. It takes two to tango. So, it’s important to marry the right person.
Who then is the right person?
1. Someone that is suitable to you. In Gen 2:18 the Bible says, “The Lord God said, ‘“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”’
By definition, when something is suitable, it means that that thing has the required skills to perform a particular task, it also means that something is capable, qualified, fit, proper, appropriate for something.
So, the right person is someone who is suitable for you, someone that fits you, your personality, vision, aspirations, value system, belief system etc.
Among the animals that were created, the livestock, the birds and the wild beasts, none of them were suitable for Adam, so God volunteered to make someone that will be suitable for Adam. This is one of the reasons why it’s bad to marry an animal. That’s an unsuitable marriage(Gen 2:20).
2. Someone that is compatible with you. In Luke 5:36-37, Jesus told an interesting parable that helped convey the point I want to make here. It says, “No one tears a piece out of a new garment to patch an old one. Otherwise, they will have torn the new garment, and the patch from the new will not match the old. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the new wine will burst the skins; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, new wine must be poured into new wineskins.”
You don’t use old clothes to patch new clothes, neither do you pour new wine into old wineskins otherwise, there will be a colossal damage. So, from this Scripture you can see that the right person is someone you can peacefully coexist with. Compatible means when two or more things are capable of existing together in harmony.
For 2 people to live peacefully and in harmony with each other, they must be compatible, you must be new clothes and likewise your partner. You must have a new wine and your partner must be a new wineskin, otherwise the problem will ensue eventually. There must be compatibility of belief system, value system, compatibility of purpose, compatibility of health, compatibility of hobbies and interests, compatibility of mentality.
3. Someone that is in agreement with you. In Amos 3:3 the Bible asks a crucial question, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” and the answer is impossicant! You cannot walk or flow with someone you’re not in agreement with or someone that is not in agreement with you.
Agreement means harmony of opinion, action, or character. The right person is someone that your opinions, actions or character are in harmony with. Imagine someone that likes going to night club marrying someone that hates anything night club or a feminist getting married to a non-feminist, do the math. Problem will be the daily occurrence in such marriages.
4. Someone that is yokeable with you. In 2 Cor 6: 14 the Bible says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness…”
In Israel, they have a practice of yoking 2 animals of the same species, say 2 donkeys, together for the purpose of ploughing the ground for plantation. The animals must be of the same height for them to be yoked together. You can’t yoke a donkey and a sheep together.
So, the right person is someone that can be yoked with you and there won’t be a problem. The right person is also someone that is on the same page, pedestal or track with, someone with similar or same vision or purpose with you. If you marry someone that’s not yokeable with you, you are likely to have a hunch back or be strangled, either of these one must happen.
5. Someone that has a good character. In Gal 5:22-23 the Bible lists these good characters, “…love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.”
So, someone that’s the right person is someone that has these qualities . Character deficiency and bankruptcy has been the bane of many marriages of today. Cheating, adultery, violence, stabbing etc, are all products of character deficiency and bankruptcy. You can’t say to be the right person when you are lacking in character.
6. Someone that is the will of God for your life. A lot has been said and written about the will of God. For some people, the will of God is someone God specially created and ordained for them at birth but that’s not the truth. God didn’t specially create or ordain anyone for us to marry.
However, I believe there’s God’s will. Inasmuch as God didn’t create or ordain anyone for us to marry at birth, it is not everyone that He will want us to marry. The will of God has to do with God’s acceptance and approval. So, anyone, among the various brothers and sisters in the Lord, who has God’s acceptance and approval is the right person.
7. When you start seeing someone with whom you imagine a future, your interest in other potential mates can diminish. When you lose your desire to chase after other people, it just shows that you’re devoted to making your partnership work.
8. Loyalty is important. This one is up there with trust. If you don’t have the loyalty to stay faithful to your partner and the relationship then why are you in a relationship at all? Loyalty acts as a building block in relationships for other values such as those on this list. You have to actually want to be in a relationship and commit to it in order for it to work.