When you enter a relationship, you commit to loving the person you give your heart to. Loving involves taking care of your partner’s needs and being careful not to hurt him/her.
Nevertheless, you cannot lose self-love in the process of loving someone else. Before you love others, you have to love yourself first. This is not selfish. It simply means you can only love others effectively by learning to love yourself.
Therefore, never forget about your own needs. Do not let yourself be abused in any way in your relationship.
Losing your self-respect may lead to your partner disrespect towards you. Some forms of disrespect in a relationship include cheating, being taken for granted, and abuse of any kind. Do not allow yourself to be disrespected physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and even financially.
3. Time For Self
Whether you are single or in a relationship, always keep your “me time”. It would be best if you had this to cope with the stressful demands of life. Also, this will help you to heal and rest whenever you are struggling with problems.
Be with a person who will respect your right to privacy. Your partner should understand that you cannot give him/her all your time. S/he should even encourage you this for holistic growth.
Never lose yourself for someone. If your current relationship requires you to change your identity, you will probably be in the wrong place. A healthy relationship is meant to help you unleash who you really are. Do not settle with a person who wants to change you to suit his/her idealism.
This is especially true for women. No matter how stable you are with your partner or spouse, never unlearn independence. Your partner may be able to secure you physically, emotionally, or financially, but time is not always the same.
It is good to have a responsible partner who takes care of you and your needs. However, what if something happened and you would have to be on your own? That would be a big, painful adjustment.
Always practice self-reliance.
The right person will not make you compromise your values. If your relationship is causing you to break your life principles, such as your morals and integrity, it is not healthy. You are losing yourself along the way.
As 1 Corinthians 13: 6 says, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” Therefore, if your relationship is causing you to lie, tolerate wrongdoings, and even conform to them, then there is no true love in it.
A good partner will help you to be a well-rounded individual. Meaning, s/he should encourage you to improve in all areas of life. This includes your health—physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental. Thus, if your relationship is influencing you to be unhealthy in any way, then think clearly.
Why stay in a relationship which gives you nothing but pain and sorrow? If it only gives you temporary and superficial happiness, but it robs you of inner joy, then it is not worth it.
For instance, you cannot be genuinely happy if you know your relationship is causing others pain. Or why keep a relationship which is causing you to lose other important relationships, such as with your family and friends?
9. Peace Of Mind
In connection with no. 7, you should not sacrifice peace of mind for a relationship. It is not worth keeping a relationship that gives you sleepless nights. If your present relationship gives you guilt, worries, and fears, how can you be happy? Ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life in uncertainties.
Yes, it is okay to adjust your career plans if it can help secure your relationship. Such sacrifice is sometimes necessary for more long-term plans in the future of your relationship.
However, what is not okay is if you have to let go of your dreams completely. Remember that before you had met your partner, you already had your life goals. Sacrificing your dreams would cause you to lose direction for self-growth.
You need to be with a partner who will support and help you achieve your dreams. S/he should allow you to spread your wings and reach the heights.
You may love your partner or spouse so much but be careful not to disregard your rights. Some people who are abused by their partners do not consider getting justice because of their love.
You have to be knowledgeable of your rights as a person. This way, you will not be abused.
As it is always said, “blood is thicker than water”. You can change partners, but your family will always be your family. For this reason, never sacrifice your family for a romantic relationship.
If your relationship is creating a gap between you and your family, then evaluate why. Your family probably disapproves of your relationship because they can see that it is not good for you.
13. Good Friends
If your partner is jealous of your friends and s/he does not want you to see them, it is unhealthy. As long as your friends are not influencing you to do anything harmful to yourself or your relationship, there is no reason to lose them. Do not lose good friends for unreasonable jealousy.
Your relationship with God, who is your creator, should be your top priority. How you follow God directly impacts your identity, principles, and even how you love. That is why you must nurture it.
Nevertheless, if your relationship is distracting or discouraging you from strengthening your faith in God, you are in a tight spot. Ask yourself who is more important to you—God or your partner?
Love is important, and once you find it, you have to take good care of it. Just make sure that in the process of finding or nurturing love, you do not lose yourself.